When every child gets a trophy except for one

Elizabeth had a rather challenging highland dance competition yesterday. There were 7 dancers in her group and she came last which she can handle as it has happened before. But yesterday they awarded 6 trophies which meant every child got a trophy except for her. That’s a bit mean, I think, and not something I’ve ever seen before. They don’t usually give out so many – I don’t know why they did this time. I’m not of the view that everyone needs an award for participation – why not just award the top three or even just 1st? – but if you are going to award almost everyone why leave a single person out? She took it very well and there were no tears but she’s quite mature in that way. 

Highland dance competitions often exclude single dancers like this although I’ve never seen it happen with trophies which are more sought-after. What typically happens is dancers will line up in front of the audience at the end of the competition and their numbers are called out i.e., 1st place is 429 etc. Then 429 steps forward. Sometimes they’ll call out 8 or 9 people and just leave one person standing on their own behind them all and you know that person came last. Then everyone claps. It’s quite brutal for the one individual standing alone. If there are two individuals standing back it’s not so bad. I’ve sometimes wondered why they don’t just call out the winners to come forward from the audience then anyone who isn’t a winner doesn’t have to stand alone as the loser in front of a full hall. I guess highland dance competitions do it this way because it’s quicker but if time is an issue then just call out 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Then perhaps share the overall scoring later if people want to see how they ranked with the rest of the group. 

Sometimes I think these highland dance competitions are a subtle form of punishment. It costs about £20 for the privilege of participating. Then there’s hours of sitting and waiting. When you do win a trophy you have to pay to have it engraved yourself and then you have to return it the following year. This is a strange concept to me. I have a couple of trophies from my school days – they’re still in my possession and my parents didn’t have to get them engraved. Ben does too. I think they give out too many trophies and giving them to every dancer except for one is just …. mean.

I realise this is very much a 1st world problem and don’t want to diminish at all the wonderful efforts of the many volunteers who make sure everything runs smoothly on the day and also the resilience of children who need to learn how to lose gracefully as it happens to all of us.

On Saturday Elizabeth also competed in a different competition and did well, coming 2nd in the Fling which she was very happy about, 3rd in most other dances, and then fourth overall. It was a different competition in Aberdeenshire and they gave out 4 trophies so she got one. Really I think they should just give out a trophy for 1st. Giving everyone a trophy cheapens them. Giving everyone except one child a trophy cheapens them and says to that one child they’re not worthy of the easily won, cheapened trophy.

The Saturday competition was better overall with a much nicer venue in a Victorian village hall and an amazing selection of home baking for the cake stall as well as a fantastic raffle where we won two prizes. The drive there and back was pleasant with fields of rapeseed in full bloom in every direction.