This is what plumbers do to you

This is how I feel right now. And no, it’s not because I haven’t had a day off since the 4th of September although that probably doesn’t help. It’s plumbers. They’re the bane of my existence. Every single time they come out to do a job they stuff something up. Every. Single. Time.

First there was the plumber who we called to fix a water leak but who did nothing other than decide it was the central heating that was leaking (which it wasn’t). He then handed the job over to British Gas who proceeded to destroy the neighbour’s kitchen ceiling and not actually fix anything at all.

Next our toilet started leaking, the plumber had a look, didn’t fix it, but left the cistern lid sitting on the bathroom bench. Now for most toilets this wouldn’t be an issue except that our toilet’s cistern is hidden in a cupboard with no handle and it took me days to figure out how to put the lid back. When the next plumber came and also forgot – they all forget – I at least knew what to do. But the same plumber also put the front of the toilet back the wrong way so that instead of the flush button being on the right of the toilet, where it usually is, it was on the left. This was immensely irritating.

Then last week I had to call the plumber again to replace a washer on an outdoor tap. They ended up replacing the entire tap but now none of my hose attachments fit it. I have about half a dozen different attachments but because it’s a universal fitting they’re all the same. Yet the plumber installed a tap which doesn’t fit this universal fitting.