I’m not an alcoholic, I just have hair lice … probably

Elizabeth has hair lice. We had reports from school last week that it was going around so I inspected her hair last night before bed and found four of the little buggers. It was already fairly late and I wasn’t sure what to do but I didn’t fancy going to bed without doing anything so we all doused our hair with gin. I read reports on the web that other people had found this effective and we just happened to have a full bottle of Tanqueray Gin.

I doused my hair a second time about 20 minutes ago and thought I could let it sit for several hours while I’m working. This is one of the advantages of working from home. However the postman just came with a delivery and he gave me a very odd look. I probably stink and now he thinks I’m an alcoholic. I’m teetotal though! This is why we have a full bottle of gin: none of us drink it and it has been sitting there unopened for ages and ages. I’ll let you know whether it works on the lice.