Spam posts and my kids don’t need me anymore

About an hour ago someone managed to publish a post to my blog. This was not me. It was a spammer using the post by email feature which was enabled for my blog. I have since disabled this and deleted the post. If you received email notification of a new post to my blog with the title “new message” then please delete it. Sorry for the trouble!

I’m not needed as a parent anymore and it’s glorious. On my recent trip to Utah the kids were fine in my absence. Some parents might find this distressing but not me. It meant that I could relax and enjoy myself. At one point while I was away Daniel asked Ben when I was coming back. Ben thought Daniel might be missing me but it turned out that he just wanted me to install a Minecraft skin on the Mac. The children were fed and watered while I was away, and Ben even managed to teach Elizabeth to ride a bicycle.

After 8 years of feeling like my life was not really mine, things are suddenly getting easier. Nothing can prepare you for having children. Very suddenly you have this tiny life solely dependent on you and gone is the freedom to do whatever you want. Even finding time to go to the toilet in those early years was hard. The sleep deprivation is particularly challenging. There were times when I thought I’d never get to sleep through the night again because there was always a baby to feed and I never did the cry-it-out thing.

Now both kids sleep through the night every night and they can generally amuse themselves throughout the day. It’s as though things have become just as suddenly easy as they became hard.

I really enjoyed myself at the Grand Meetup and this was possible because I knew the kids were fine without me. Indeed I felt like a 20-something-year-old again. The party on the last night was a bit like a night club with The Jane Doze (dance DJs from New York – I’d never heard of them before) performing and special lighting. I’m too old for night clubs but nevertheless I was up there on the dance floor pretending to be much younger than I really am and having a terrific time.

I feel like this is the beginning of a new era in my life and I like how it looks from here 🙂

14 thoughts on “Spam posts and my kids don’t need me anymore

  1. I just saw that odd email notification and deleted it as it looked suspicious, and then i saw your post, so phew. I’ve had one or two like that from other bloggers too. Glad you got it sorted. Love your new profile pic and isn’t it great when you get to this stage of being able to relax a little more with your kids… And too old for nightclubs? No way! You’ll catch me there dancing any opportunity I can get 🙂

  2. I had no idea about the post by email thing, what the! Thanks for the info, I’ll have to look at mine. Oh and I was smiling when you talked about the toilet breaks with kids…and that reminded me of the showers!

    1. Oh yes, having a shower is definitely a challenge with small kids around. Take your eyes off them just for a few seconds and bad things happen … like marmite smeared all over the kitchen.

  3. My spam filter seems to have sucked up your rogue mail. And enjoy the new freedoms. We’re all different of course but we found as the kids hit the teenaged years they needed us less but more intensely when they did. I guess it’s because they are more independent yet still need a level of support that they’d sometime prefer not to have. Personally they just got better to be around because they are more interesting people. I’m sure you will love every stage as we have

    1. Good! My spam filter also sucked it up so I didn’t realise until someone pointed out the post.

      I’ve heard the teenage years can be challenging too so I’m enjoying the calm before the storm.

      1. Given your open ways Rachel you’ll both be the perfect mum adored by their friends and a constant embarrassment to them. A perfect combination I’d say!

  4. Being mostly un-needed by my kids is like MY DREAM. Except I hope we’ll always *want* to spend time together, because we enjoy each others’ company. 🙂 I’m so glad everything was chill at home while you were at the grand meetup, and that you were able to relax and enjoy!

  5. Rachel, that’s scary. Thanks for the tip.

    My “kids” are a lot older than yours. It is easier taking a shower these days but I still have sleepless nights. It seems you never stop worrying about them, never stop wanting to help them, never stop loving them. That’s a wonderful thing.

  6. I think you have a very healthy attitude towards leaving your kids. And yes, it is exciting to be able to find yourself as a person more again! I actually go to the point where I forgot what I was really like, I’d been sucked deep into parenthood for so long.
    I think it’s interesting when I see parents who don’t *want* their children not to need them any more, and how that affects the dynamic of the family.

  7. I wonder how did the spammer got hold your post by email id; but they are spammers so may be they are brute-forcing. Nevertheless, glad it is sorted.

    Men can indeed look after children, you know? 🙂

    I felt that relief when my son turned two and started sleeping through the night mostly. Now he is four and mostly doesn’t bother me much except during dad-son time. He sleeps through most of the nights.

    Glad that you had a great time at GM. Age is just a number. 🙂

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