You've got green hair

I managed to get to sleep last night thank goodness. I’m still a zombie today though. It will take a while to catch up I think.

Daniel had his long-awaited appointment with a paediatrician yesterday. It was all a bit disappointing. He got a diagnosis of ASD (autism spectrum disorder) which was nice to have confirmed, except that we felt the doctor made her decision about the diagnosis before seeing him. It was a bit like she’d just read all his notes and went along with what everyone else had been saying rather than making an independent decision. We think her decision is correct, but I can’t help but question the point of the whole exercise especially given we had to wait 6 months for it.

What was I expecting? I guess I was expecting the doctor to interact with Daniel a bit more. To get him to perform some tasks and then to offer some strategies to us for dealing with some of the issues we have. Nothing happens now other than his teacher can have official confirmation which is good in itself. It will add weight to requests for support she might make in the future.

Many parents hear an ASD diagnosis with disbelief and surprise and then, or so I’ve heard, spend the next week in tears. Why do they do that? I’ve never quite understood it because, surely they already know? They’ve lived with the child for a number of years and know them better than anyone else. It’s not like anything changes. Except that now they have an explanation for why it has been so tough which is surely good. And possibly they’d get some support for the difficulties they face which is also good.

Imagine being born with green hair and having green hair all your life, even brushing it and looking in the mirror daily but not realising it’s green. Then one day, a doctor says, “You’ve got green hair”, and the person is in shock and horrified because they never saw it before. What did they see, I wonder?

Posted

November 1, 2012

Uncategorized

Rachel M

Tags:

asd, austism

Comments

7 responses to “You've got green hair”

Bronwyn

November 1, 2012

I would be disappointed that the doctor didn’t suggest strategies to help Daniel. Did you mention the tics or have they disappeared? Re your comment about green hair, I guess lots of people go into denial just to cope until they’re confronted with a diagnosis they can’t ignore. How’s your green hair by the way? Has the hairdresser fixed it?

Reply
1. quakerat
  
  November 2, 2012
  
  I did mention the tics and she did rule out Tourettes on the basis of his tics changing with time. Evidently Tourette tics remain the same. It was only a couple of strands that were green and the hairdresser wouldn’t let me leave the salon till he’d sorted it out. I wasn’t worried though. After experiencing more than 10,000 earthquakes, a bit of green hair is nothing!
  
  Reply
Andrea

November 1, 2012

I’m not sure it would always be denial. Maybe they didn’t see green hair but something else that was normal to them and therefore thought thought it was normal to everyone else. They only became horrified when they realised that what they were seeing was different to everyone else and that what everyone else was seeing might not be the socially accepted norm.

Reply
1. quakerat
  
  November 2, 2012
  
  I wonder also whether it’s because people don’t know what autism is or their understanding of autism is different from the reality. Perhaps they have a “Rainman” view of it.
  
  Reply
Max Shelton

November 2, 2012

But what a lovely little boy he is!!

Associate Professor Max Shelton School of Agriculture and Food Sciences The University of Queensland 4072 Brisbane, Australia Email: m.shelton@uq.edu.au Ph: 617 33652541

Reply
NJ

November 2, 2012

Can the school now help you to apply for funding to support him at school? That’s the way it happens here. I work with a girl who is also on the spectrum (in grade 4) and my salary is paid with the money that the government department pays to the school for her.
Perhaps you too could seek out some support – if you haven’t already – other parents with kids on the spectrum would be good to talk to I’m sure. It must be a lot to deal with, and visits to the ‘experts’ won’t always provide what you need or expect.
I went to an Autism conference earlier this year through school and heard Sue Larkey speak. She has a newsletter you can sign up for with good tips and I just went to her website, by coincidence she’s doing a workshop in NZ next week!
http://www.suelarkey.com.au
http://www.creatingsuccess.co.nz/

Reply
1. quakerat
  
  November 3, 2012
  
  Maybe I should be asking you for tips?! Daniel doesn’t qualify for any extra funding because he’s not “bad” enough. The school pays for a limited number of teacher aides with its own funds but Daniel has never had one. Perhaps now that he’s got a formal diagnosis his teacher might ask for some help. She’s a pretty amazing teacher though. I have heard of Sue Larkey – thanks for the links.
  
  Reply