We have the worst dogs ever. They hate other dogs and Freud has declared war on all the cats in the Universe. The problem is that he’s going blind and anything from a distance at his eye level is a potential cat including children and witches’ hats so he barks uncontrollably and tries to strangle himself with the lead. In response to this outburst, Zeki lunges at him with a Hannibal Lecter teeth-baring snarl and starts a dog fight. Then everyone stares at me and thinks I’m just the worst dog owner on the planet. And I probably am. I did all the wrong things including treating them like children and now that I have real children my patience and tolerance thresholds have plummeted. Is it too awful to say that I hope they die from old age in the not-too-distant future?