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Conversations with Daniel

Daniel: I’m going to be a doctor when I grow up. Are doctors mans?
Me: Some doctors are men and some are women. Why do you want to be a doctor?
Daniel: Because I’m a man.
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Daniel: Why does Christchurch have earthquakes?
Me: Because the ground beneath Christchurch woke up and it’s moving and stretching before it settles and goes back to sleep again.
Daniel: Will the ground wake up in Auckland?
Me: Maybe one day, but not for a long, long time. (hopefully!)
Daniel (in a very concerned, almost teary voice): No it’s not going to wake up, no, no. 
Me: I think the ground is very tired here and will stay sleeping.
Daniel: Does the ground have eyes?
Me: No.
Daniel: Does the ground have a nose? mouth? ears?
Me: No.
Daniel: Does the ground have eyebrows?
Me: No.
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Daniel: Do they (the people who bought our house in Christchurch) like earthquakes?
Ben: Probably not.
Daniel: When there’s an earthquake do they get in the car and drive to Gran’s place?

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Rachel M

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6 responses to “Conversations with Daniel”

  1. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    'Because I'm a man'. Made me chuckle. He's got a way to go methinks:) Pleased to hear the fleas won't be bothering you any more. B

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  2. Just Me Avatar
    Just Me

    Do you think he might be less confused / afraid if you explain what's actually happening? Like a simple explanation of plate tectonics? It just seems to me that thinking that the earth 'wakes up and stretches' would be far scarier than rocks moving. Lol at the "because I'm a man"… not yet, Daniel.

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  3. Rachel Avatar
    Rachel

    I have talked about plates and moving rocks with him already. Probably the metaphor I used wasn't that great because being mildly autistic he takes everything literally. Now he thinks there's a scary monster beneath the ground! But I only adopted this strategy after an endless round of questions to which I would always begin with answering from a scientific point of view. I personally don't find current knowledge of earthquake science very helpful to alleviating my fears. Just like understanding how tornadoes are formed would make me feel any less afraid should I experience one. It would be easy to blame Daniel's fears on me but he wasn't afraid following the September earthquake which he slept through. Even the boxing day aftershocks failed to nudge him from the sofa or stop him eating some crackers. He only became afraid after the February 22nd earthquake during which we were all tossed against a wall. Being away from the aftershocks has been the best remedy for the two of us as well as talking about it and expressing our emotions. Earthquakes are scary things.

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  4. Just Me Avatar
    Just Me

    Sorry Rachel, I wasn't blaming you, just thinking that, knowing his issues with understanding language, it'd be awfully scary to think there's a monster under the ground – more scary than a natural process of pressure and rocks. Apologies if it looked like I was placing blame – earthquakes are scary things, and everyone deals with them differently, I was only sharing an idea that has helped some other kids. I'm so glad you guys are feeling safer and happier where you are.

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  5. Rachel Avatar
    Rachel

    No need to say sorry, I didn't mean to imply you were implying it was my fault and what you said is true. Incidentally, do you have any suggestions for what to say about death? Daniel has just started asking us about dying and was showing anxiety about the fact he wasn't going to live forever and ever. How do you deal with that?

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  6. Just Me Avatar
    Just Me

    I'll send you an email 😉

    Reply

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